Checking in

It's been a while, how are things?

Last month I turned 33. We went for a bus ride, had coffee and cake, and walked around some of the lesser known parts of the city. I finally visited an estate right by the motorway that has always captured my interest as we drive home. Can you see the man poking out from between his sunflowers? I asked him if I could take a picture, he seemed pleased as punch despite apologetically explaining that he 'tends to go a bit nuts with his seedlings every year'.

Turning 33 was a weird thing. When I turned 30, I promised myself that my life would begin in earnest; that I would make radical changes and become the person I wanted to be. And I did make some changes, but overall its been a mixed bag. I realise that part of me is still trying to be someone that I am not. From the way I dress to the hobbies I pursue and the opinions I express, I keep playing it safe. I've worked out why I do this, but after revelation comes the hard work of living an authentic life and to hell with the perceived consequences.

In the spirit of that, I've started the 'Konmari' process again; and this time I'm doing it completely by the book. I got myself in a nice relaxed frame of mind, and spent a while thinking about what I wanted my house to be - and my lifestyle in it. And then I questioned every aspect of it, did a gut check, and thought about it some more until I knew I was pursuing something true. And then I realised that I had a lot of tidying up to do.

So far I've done clothes (will need to revisit as I don't have enough clothes at the moment to purge) and books. The books that 'sparked joy' for me were a small handful - vegetable growing (still waiting on that allotment), sewing (I don't even sew yet) and a few fiction books. I threw out the Spanish course (useful, logical - and completely not me) and kept the Russian course (impractical, difficult and utterly beguiling). Interestingly I now don't own a single recipe book or magazine, even though I deeply love my grub.

Next I'm going through the 'komono' - or the 'why the hell do I have all this random crap' category. It's going to take a few months

This afternoon's komono is craft supplies. This is going to be an interesting one. Making stuff, being self reliant has always been a part of my identity - I come from a family of makers and I learnt to knit at the age of 4 - and yet its fallen down my list of priorities in recent years. I have no idea what is going to 'spark joy', if anything, and this time that is OK.